


On the Cusp

by Queenie_004



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Dirty Thoughts, Eventual Smut, F/M, Flirty, Halloween Costumes, House Party, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-19 20:56:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15518409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenie_004/pseuds/Queenie_004
Summary: Recipe for a Smutty Halloween:1 Handsome Pilot1 Sexy PrincessAdd a bit of flirtingSeason with a dash of dancingToss it together at a partyHeat it up in a linen cupboardServe it HOTEnjoy!Like all writers I crave feedback! Please share in the comments if you have any and thank you for reading!





	On the Cusp

**Author's Note:**

> There's a broody, sexy song by Arctic Monkeys, "Do I Wanna Know". It came out after the show takes place but it's what I hear playing at this party.

_So have you got the guts?_  
_Been wondering if your heart's still open and_  
_if so I wanna know what time it shuts_  
_Simmer down and pucker up_  
_I'm sorry to interrupt it's just I'm constantly_  
_on the cusp of trying to kiss you_  
_I don't know if you feel the same as I do_  
_But we could be together, if you wanted to_

He was so fucking bored. Bored of college, bored of Stamford, bored of Stamford girls and bored with this Halloween party full of twats dressed up as he-didn’t-even-know-what. He smoked and nodded his head at Chop prattling on and waited for something, anything to happen to relieve the never-ending boredom that was his life.

Then he saw Chloe pushing past people to get to them and he looked beyond her like he always did, always searching for Rae and when he spotted her he immediately knew that even if his life was not about to get better, at least the evening was going to be more exciting.

*** 

Chloe was posing and showing off her outfit that no one recognized. “I’m Emma Peel!” she told the boys and they just looked at her dumbly, “From ‘Avengers’! You know, EMMA PEEL” When she had to explain it was a TV show from the 60s Chop sputtered, “Why the fuck would we know that? We weren’t even BORN then!” And Chloe scowled and it was clear the outfit was picked on the basis that it was skintight and she looked really sexy if you were into girls like Chloe, which Finn was certainly not, at least not anymore.

Izzy had put her ginger hair to good use as Agent Scully and she was blushing as Chop leaned down close to her chest to “examine” her FBI badge. But Finn’s eyes were locked on Rae who was dressed as…he didn’t know who the fuck she was but she had exposed arms and a flash of thigh above leather boots and a damn sword and her gorgeous fucking tits were pushed right up and she looked so fit he was having trouble lifting his jaw off the floor.

She had broken up with him months ago and he never knew why. They were mates again but it was always there tugging at the back of his brain—that they belonged together, that he still liked her, he still _more_ than liked her—but that part he worked on shoving deep down because being friends again was better than being nothing. He cocked his head towards the bar at her and she nodded and they slipped away from their friends and made their way to the drinks, which was just a table full of partially empty bottles.

“Happy Halloween” Finn said as he found what seemed to be the last unopened bottle of beer and handed it to Rae. She sipped it and leaned towards him so he could hear her under the din, “you look so good” she said and he smiled and tipped his hat at her, “Got it at the Charity Shop. Didn’t know what else to wear and me granddad was in the RAF so,” he shrugged his shoulders and watched as Rae seemed to eye him up and down and then lick her lips—from the beer? Or at him in a pilot’s uniform? “I’m sorry I’m so thick Rae but, who are ya?” he gestures to her outfit and wishes he could brush his fingers over all this rare exposed Rae Earl flesh but tamps down the urge, not touching her is something he is constantly re-learning how to do. “I’m Xena, Warrior Princess” she rolls her eyes, “Chloe wanted us to do a group thing and I thought I’d talked her outta the worst ideas, but clearly I was wrong.” Finn wants to tell her she looks dead sexy and that even though he has no idea who the hell this Princess is, he thinks she has the best costume of anyone there. But instead he just asks, “what were her other ideas?” Rae makes an exaggerated sigh and starts counting off on her fingers, “The Pink Ladies from ‘Grease’, Bananarama, Charlie’s Angels—when I accused her of not knowing anything that wasn’t ancient—I ended up as a fucking Warrior Princess.” She takes another drink of the beer and hands the bottle to him to finish. “So we settled on a theme and that was apparently ‘ladies on the telly’ and now I’m wearing a bloody breast plate and whatever _this_ is” she gestures to a cuff around her upper arm and he hadn’t even noticed that because he was so busy taking in the rest of this glorious outfit on this girl he can’t stop thinking about all the time. “Wanna get drunk?” is what he says and she breaks into a big grin and says, “I love how you can read my fucking mind Finn Nelson.”

***

“Chloe!” she hisses at her friend up ahead of her, skinny sexy Chloe with her pert little bum swishing in front of her face like a tease of something she’ll never be. She reaches for her and pulls her back, “What the hell Rae?” Chloe sputters, “the lads are just over there.” “Yeah,” says Rae, “I can see that, why didn’t you tell me about Finn?” “What about Finn?” Chloe looks at him standing over by the corner and then back at Rae, “Didn’t I tell ya he broke up with Alice?” Rae’s eyes pop because she didn’t even know he was dating an Alice because trying to avoid any information about Finn Nelson’s love life is one of her life skills now. “Not that,” she steals a glance back up at him but he hasn’t noticed them yet, “the fact that he looks like _that_!” She thought if Finn came he certainly wouldn’t come in a costume and if he did come in a costume it wouldn’t be as a Royal Air Force Captain all fitted blue uniform with crisp tie around his neck and a cap tilted down teasing a glimpse of his gorgeous face. She literally feels her knees go weak as she stares at him. He was fit enough in his jeans and t-shirts but this is a whole other level of hotness and all the feelings she has for him that she tries not have for him are quickly simmering right under her skin.

When they make it to them she has managed to appear pulled together despite feeling otherwise and when he takes her to the bar she loses control a bit and blurts out how good he looks and then bloody eyes him like a piece of meat she’d like to dig her teeth into and when he suggests they get pissed she is thrilled because just maybe the alcohol will let her lose her inhibitions about getting naked with him because right now she really, really wants to strip off that suit and toss away the cap and get extremely naked with him.

***

Rae has spoiled him for other girls. He realized this very quickly with Olivia. And then Fiona, followed by Lizzie and most recently Alice. He keeps looking for girls to distract him and convince him Rae was just another girl he dated and nothing special. But each one made it more glaringly obvious: Rae isn’t just special she’s brilliant—she’s a perfect mix of charm and smarts, funny and gorgeous with spectacular taste in music and the most incredible set of tits he’s ever been in the presence of. She had made him sharper, made him yearn to be more clever and worthy of her attention, deserving of her heart. After her it was clear that the girls who were attracted to him were nice enough and all very pretty in the same predictable way, but they didn’t keep his attention they weren’t interesting or challenging. They weren’t Rae.

They edge around the party seeking out the unopened bottles and opening them—passing them back and forth to each other as they complain about the music and try to guess what people’s costumes are supposed to be. A lot of Sexy Witches and Sexy Kitties try to catch Finn’s attention and a lot of drunk lads lazily dressed as footballers shout out “OI! XENA!!” and pump their fists at Rae. They laugh a lot as they jostle into each other and the heat of the room is making Finn want to shed his woolen jacket and when he mentions it Rae’s face lights up into something rather wicked and when she gives him a flirty salute then says “let me help you with that sir” and reaches over to undo the belt on the jacket he feels lightheaded from all the blood rushing to his cock and has to lean back against the wall.

***

She’s not that drunk but she’s happy—really happy—spending-time flirting-and-whispering-and-drinking-with-Finn-Nelson-happy. She’s forgotten about her embarrassing outfit and the fact that so much of her flesh is exposed to a bunch of knobheads from college. She’s actually feeling a bit sexy and rather powerful. The boys seem to think her being Xena is fairly fucking cool and she’s clocked every time that Finn has brushed against her—finger tips on her wrist, a palm guiding her back, his forehead dropped in laughter against her shoulder. Just those little touches are making her so hot and incredibly bothered it’s not a question of whether her knickers are wet, it’s a question of exactly how soaked are they.

When he moans that he’s too hot in his jacket Rae, Warrior Princess is the one who eagerly unlatches the jacket’s belt and reaches to loosen his tie. He lifts his chin to give her better access and she stares at his perfect, stupid, beautiful neck. Who has a neck that looks good enough to eat? Her ex-boyfriend that’s who, she thinks as she tries not to remember she’s the dickhead who broke up with him. His vein pulses under the taut muscles of his neck, and his skin looks warm and golden, like it would taste of honey if she licked it—all syrupy sweet and smooth. This thought must escape her as a greedy sound because he looks at her and his tongue runs over his bottom lip and they hold their gazes on each other for a few moments before Finn says, “Do ya wanna dance?” and she absolutely wants to dance if it means getting closer to him than she’s been in months. “Yes sir” she replies and holds out her hand to him.

***

He is not great at dancing but who the fuck cares when the song is slow enough that he can bring her in close to him and slide his hands around her waist and feel hers latch behind his neck. He likes that she keeps calling him “sir” and looking at him with those big eyes. He likes that she is letting him touch her and not scolding him about it. He likes that other lads at the party seems to be noticing Rae in her provocative get-up and she isn’t giving them any of her attention. He likes the strands of her hair tickling his fingers and her hips swaying under his hands and her breath blowing past his ear and everything, he likes everything about Rae Earl so fucking much it makes his head spin so hard he can’t see straight.

Her fingers tickle his ear, “Where’s your earring?” she asks and he tells her he took it out to “be authentic” and she laughs and tugs his earlobe and that tiny squeeze zips throughout his body. “Naked ear” she murmurs and the word “naked” rolling off her tongue in relation to him makes every cell in him scream her name. She keeps stroking the shell of his ear and he pulls her in a little closer and wishes her armor wasn’t blocking him from feeling her softness pressed against his overheated body. The song is almost hypnotic and he senses their bodies are moving in a rhythm together that reminds him of his everlasting regret that they never had sex. He thinks he’d give up all the sex he has ever had to have slept with her at least once.

He wants to take her face in his hands and kiss her slowly—his eyes open so he can register every blush of her skin, any flutter of lashes. He wants to see her as he kisses her so he knows it is all real, not just one of the dreams he seems to have every night—of sinking deep into her and feeling her seize around him and grasp at his shoulders and through his hair, gasping her pleasure against his neck. He wonders if something is shifting right now between them it feels different tonight, Rae feels different she feels eager and open to him in a way he only got a tiny glimpse of when they were together. Just as he’s thinking this she rests her head on his shoulder with her face turned to his neck and nuzzles him softly—almost as he’s dreamed it, as if she’s reading his bloody mind. So he finds a bare patch of skin on her back and he traces L-E-T-S G-O.

***

She can’t control herself around him tonight and she doesn’t want to. She’s tired of wanting him and tired of denying herself what she wants. She has known from the start that he’s wanted her back even without him saying the words she’s sensed it in nearly every moment they’ve spent together as friends again. The way his eyes follow her around the pub and how his face falls when she doesn’t sit next to him. It’s things he’s said or half said and then mumbled so she wouldn’t know what he meant. It’s how he’s dated girls that she has tried to ignore, but the way they’ve watched him—while he’s watched her as if he’s daring her to stand up and claim that he’s hers has been impossible to ignore. He’s holding her and he smells like smoke and sweat and beer and it’s the most intoxicating scent in the world and she just wants to wrap herself around him like a snake and feel every part of him pressed hard against her. Being naked with him seems nearly fine right now—she’s already in this ludicrous outfit with her legs and arms bare and shoulders peeking out from silly plastic armor and he seems to not care, in fact he seems to like it quite a lot. _This could be so easy, let it be easy Rae_ —she coaches herself— _let yourself have him_.

And it’s then that his finger moves on her skin and fucking hell she has missed that so much. She remembers wanting him to write entire novels with his fingertips on every inch of her body and the incredible sensation of his fingers slipping inside her and coaxing her into what still stands as the most incredible climax she’s ever had (not that she’s had a lot of opportunities since then but still). L-E-T-S G-O. _Yes, please yes_ echoes in her head and she pulls back from him and he looks hungry he looks fucking starving for her and she wants to feed him until he’s so full up with her he can’t move. “You made me a promise, yeah?” His eyelids flutter and he asks, “I did?” and she nods, “to be continued” he breaks into a smile and his cheeks shade red as he nods vigorously, “ay girl, I did” She starts taking steps back from him just as the song they were moving to switches into something loud and urgent. “Well Captain this Princess commands you to deliver on that promise.”

***

They race away from the people dancing in such a hurry it’s hard to tell who is pulling whom. Finn can’t take her outside in late October with her costume, she’ll freeze and he came with Chop so he has no car there. They’re at least a half hour from his house and his dad is home for once. They move around corners and try doors and find themselves facing broom closets and a guy with his pants down pissing in a tiny toilet who hollers at them. Laughing they keep going and Rae waves at Archie whose gesturing them over to where he has found another fellow dressed like him as a sailor but Finn gives him a firm “not now mate” head shake and Archie turns his wave into a thumbs up to a giggling Rae. Up the stairs, around the landing and finally a door gives to a cupboard and Finn pulls her in and slams the door tight behind them and suddenly the party is muffled and their panting breaths are loud in the tight space and Rae bursts into a laugh that sounds like music to him, “not this again” she says and he flashes back to their failed “Seven Minutes in Heaven” and Rae’s bruising “I don’t want to be your friend” speech which he had completely misinterpreted when all he wanted to do was kiss her for far more than seven bloody minutes.

There’s just a second where they pause and both have the same fear flicker across their faces—that it’s not going to happen now either. But it passes almost instantly and they are on each other all wet kisses and exploring hands, tongues sliding into one another making endless demands for more. She presses him against the door and is pulling at the buttons of his shirt and he is desperately trying to get around the damn thing covering her chest because he wants to touch her so fucking badly. She pulls back and adjusts something and then he hears the clatter of plastic hitting the floor and when she comes back to him he sees she has a white vest on and it is displaying all her glorious curves and magnificent tits and he gasps, “you are something fucking else Rae Earl” and then she’s pressed against his chest having opened his shirt and he moans so loudly he’s sure that it could be heard down the stairs and above the music. His mouth moves from hers and she whimpers in protest but he drags his lips over her ears and down her neck, his teeth baring into her between feather soft kisses as she thrusts herself into him. At her shoulder he slips his fingers under her straps and pulls them down so he can feast on her without anything in his way and she starts moaning his name as she grasps for his belt.

***

She may very well lose her virginity in a linen cupboard in the house of some girl she shares a Maths class with and she doesn’t even care. She’s so turned on while feeling waves of fury for denying herself this for so long. He feels so good, so insanely, mind-boggingly, just-fuck-me-now-please good that she doesn’t care about the potential nakedness or the awkward location or what anyone else would think seeing them together or know that they fucked in a cupboard. She presses her hand over his trousers and doesn’t know what she loves more—the feel of his cock hard for her or the sound he makes as she does it. She strokes him and he clutches her his fingers digging along her flesh and everything is hot and exciting and he’s murmuring something against her throat, “Hmmmm?” she moans and his face rises to kiss her some more, “do ya ever” he can’t even finish the sentence without feasting on her lips between words, “think ‘bout gettin’ back together?” “Yeah” she presses the word against his lips. “When?” he keeps at it and her mind trips over memories because he’s making it so bloody hard to concentrate. “A lot…when I first saw ya tonight in this get-up” She finally manages and he kisses her deeply then, she thinks she may stop breathing it’s so fierce, “So do I” he breaks away and slides his hands to hold her face, “when I wake up…when I see ya at college…when I’m tryin’ to sleep…” her mind is spinning “…right now” he finishes and stops kissing her for a few seconds and watches her face in the dim light, watching her reaction. “Yeah” she breathes, “I want to.” He lets the words hang there between them but realizes he wants them again, he needs them. “Tell me again girl” and she gives him a sly little smirk as she slips her hand inside his boxers and stares right at him as she takes him in her hand, “I want ya back.”

***

He’s flipped them so she’s against the door because he needs the leverage. She keeps stroking him and he can’t focus and it’s not helping that she’s mewling “let me have it, I want it” over and over. He dips down and drags his hands from above her boots up to her knickers and she’s squirming to get him to touch her and it’s so different from the last time where she lay so still and quiet letting him finger her until she cried out and bucked under his touch. When he reaches his destination she is so wet he actually groans and any plans to tease her a bit become hard to rationalize as she’s thrusting herself towards him demanding more. Just as he’s about to start giving them what they both want a knock starts up behind Rae’s head. She’s too lost in the moment to respond and Finn tries ignoring it but it gets louder. “FUCK OFF” he finally shouts towards the noise but now the drunken idiot is rattling the doorknob demanding to use the toilet. Rae does notice that and without even looking she raises her arm and cracks her fist right at the guy’s ear level, “We said fuck off! Now go before I come out there and make sure ya can never take another piss again!” Finn laughs loudly at that. He’s not letting her get away this time or ever again if he can help it. She’s the love of his fucking life. “Where was I?” he grins and she grabs hold of his wrist and guides it up until his fingers meet her soaked knickers, “Here,” she breathes, “give me it sir.”

***

She comes so quickly and so loudly she thinks she has threads of wool in her mouth from biting down on his shoulder so hard. He continues to finger fuck her until she’s so sensitive she shudders one last time and pushes his hand away, “too much!” she gasps and they both laugh. The cupboard is hot and they are sticky but she doesn’t want to stop until she’s made him feel as good as he just made her feel, if that’s even possible. She doesn’t know what voodoo it is that makes Finn Nelson so fucking amazing with his hands but she is dying to find out how talented he is with other parts of his anatomy. She kisses him again and works his belt and trousers down and is trying to figure out the logistics of how they are going to do this against a door as she slides her leg up towards his hip. But he catches it and shakes his head, murmuring “nah, not here” into her mouth. She makes a frustrated noise because she’s ready, she’s more than ready and he’s gone off it?

Even in the dark he can sense her worry and confusion, “Rae,” his voice soothes over her skin, “I want our first time to be in a proper bedroom, laying down and taking our time. Not here, not in a dingy cupboard at a shit party when we’ve been drinking and some twat is likely to burst in thinkin’ it’s the bleedin’ toilet.” He is softly kissing her neck and running his fingers along her torso and she’s touched that he wants to give her something so romantic—but she’s also a bit frazzled because she really, like _really_ wants to have sex with him as in, immediately despite the crap conditions. She whines a little but it’s hard to be too unhappy when she’s still coming down from her mind blowing climax and he’s still touching her in ways that make her feel like it just may happen again.

“Oh Captain” she smiles in the dark as he murmurs, “yes, Princess” against her heated skin, “turn around” she pushes him off her a bit and takes a step to spin them back to their original positions with him against the door. Her hands smooth down his chest and along his hips and her body follows and then she’s on her knees and he moans her name as she moves her tongue to meet his cock and then pulls him into her eager mouth.

***

Finn steps out first to assess how easily they can escape the party. His costume was also a bit easier to pull back together than hers so he runs his hand through his disheveled hair as he blinks under the hall light and tries to recall through his pleasure haze which direction they came up from.

Inside Rae is feeling around for her armor and trying to piece it back together but is quickly losing patience. She hears Finn’s voice on the other side and is about to respond when she hears another voice, a feminine one. She stops moving about and listens as some girl flirts with her very much on-again boyfriend. The fucking nerve she has! Rae slings the breastplate over her arm and bursts out of the cupboard, catching a Sexy Witch by surprise. “Oh…hiya” the girl had her hand hovering close to Finn and Rae is done with the worries from last time, she’s staking her fucking claim and she’s starting it right fucking now. “Hiya! Jocelyn, right?” Her voice is all sweetness and the girl withdraws her hand and nods as Rae reaches to shake it, “I’m Rae we have Chemistry together but you wouldn’t know that would ya—and this is Finn, do you know my boyfriend Finn Nelson?” Jocelyn giggles nervously and nods again and Finn’s head is turning to each girl as if he’s watching a tennis match. “Oh lovely, yes, everyone knows Finn Nelson, don’t they Jocelyn? He’s the fittest boy at college, aren’t ya Finn?” she looks at him and he looks on the verge of laughter and just shrugs, “Well, Jocelyn—by the way that’s a mint costume, you look like a proper sexy witch all casting love spells and the like, right Finn?” Finn has no idea what is going on but he’s enjoying this sly and confident Rae. “Sorry to meet and dash Jos, can I call ya Jos? I feel like we’re tight since you were just hitting on my boyfriend and all, but we’ve got to go as I’ve just sucked Finn off in there” she thumbs towards the cupboard door, “and I am thirsty now! You know how it is, doncha Jos?” she winks at Jocelyn whose eyes are open wide and she has yet to say a word since Rae stepped out. “Cheers then Jos! See ya in class!” and with that Rae slips her arm through Finn’s and pulls him towards the stairs and he just grins at stunned Jocelyn and gives her a tip of his Captain’s hat.

***

Finn wraps his RAF issue jacket around her shoulders as they sit cuddled in the back of Chop’s car. Chop is passed out in the passenger seat and Izzy is the designated driver but she’s so excited about Finn and Rae getting back together that she keeps turning to chat at them to their hollers of “WATCH THE BLOODY ROAD IZ!” Their heads rest together and their fingers intertwine and occasionally he turns his face to kiss her hair or she lifts his hand to brush her lips over his knuckles and Finn can’t imagine anything less boring than being with Rae Earl and Rae promises herself there is no more denying herself happiness or pleasure or Finn. And she smiles as she knows by the time they get to college on Monday that lovely gossipy Jocelyn will have let the whole school know that they’re together again—and they probably fucked in a cupboard—and she's so happy, she doesn't even care.

 **Title:** Do I Wanna Know / Arctic Monkeys (2013)


End file.
